Deadwood No More

I've deactivated my facebook account for awhile.  There were a couple factors involved, but a large part is that I feel I need to reexamine my priorities, who I define myself as and how I live my life.  I feel like lately I've been taking a half-hearted, good enough for now, approach to life instead of intentionally choosing to live my life in joy.  I haven't been the wife, mother or woman I want to be and know that I can be.  So I'm taking some space...spending time focusing on my family and my relationship with God.

And it's hard.  There were at least 10 times this morning alone that I went to my computer and hesitated for a moment before walking away.  It's a habit...an addiction really.  The world will not implode if I don't inform everyone that Liliana asked for a pony for Christmas (she did).  I don't have to see what my classmate from high school made for dinner last night.  I will survive. 

This morning, I spent the time I would have spent on facebook reading my Bible instead...after I found it that is.  We moved 4 months ago and I hadn't a clue where it was- which tells you something right there.  :-P  Anyways, there were a lot of things that spoke to me today, but in particular this verse jumped out at me:  "What counts is your life.  Is it green and blossoming?  Because if it's deadwood, it goes on the fire."  Matthew 3:10 (The Message).  Very rarely, do I talk about anything religious with anyone...mostly because all of my friends are seminarians, are far smarter theologically speaking than I am, and have no problem telling me how wrong I am in my interpretation of things.  :-)  Okay, that happened once, but it scared me enough to never speak up again.  Today, I don't care if I get it "wrong."  When I read this verse, all I could think of was my attitude lately.  Each day with this beautiful family I'm blessed with is such a gift.  And instead of living life purposefully and with a heart of thankfulness, I've been just getting by...and that's such a waste.  It's deadwood and you're better than that Cassandra Ann!....I use my full name when I'm in trouble with myself.  :-)  My family deserves better than that.  They deserve green and blossoming, and so that's what I'm going to focus on this Advent season.  Finding the joy in every moment.  Purposefully playing and laughing with my children.  Going out of my way to make my husband feel like the rockstar that he is.  Being intentional about showing my love and thankfulness to each member of my family and to God.  Good enough isn't good enough anymore.

So pray for me.  That I can stick to it and not slide back into just making it through and that taking this time and space will be productive and fulfilling for us.  And check back often...because I'll probably be blogging my way through my facebook withdrawals.  :-P  Adventures in lefse making should be coming tomorrow. 

Hope all of you had a very Happy Thanksgiving with your friends and families and that your time together was very green and blossomy (yeah, that's a word.)